Hey 2023 - it’s me.
Is it 2023 yet? In my mind I have been in 2023 since September of 2022. Not that I was bored or had any reason to be so far ahead of myself. But I do struggle with being “in the moment” at times when my current life feels out of my control. Whoops, didn’t mean to get deep there. I had the thought the other night where the best thing I can do in moments where it feels like everything is pushing against you is learning to let things happen.
Outside of my career I traveled to 3 different islands, ran a half marathon, read 34 books (discovered audiobooks - game changer), bought way too many cheesy souvenirs (nearly doubled my crewneck + hoodie collection), discovered my love for video & educational content but also martinis, Pina coladas and mojitos. I learned not to ask for tap water in countries where it is best to just pay extra for the bottled stuff even though my tree-hugging heart hurts drinking from single use plastics. I learned not every country has the same plumbing system as American and if you don’t google it in advanced you might end up taking really cold showers for a week straight. My 24 year old 4Runner broke down on multiple occasions - leaving me stranded in cities no where close to home. Made some serious life choices which would leave the next three years of my life ultimately out of my control.
Let things happen.
Taking a deep breath for all that I have accomplished and all I have coming for me.
I could go in to great detail about all of the things I have planned for 2023…
But first, let’s reminisce for a minute. New beginnings always have me in my feels.
Reflection is the best way for me to fully cope with my experiences and knowing, as of right now, I’m heading in the right direction.
10 different states, 1 other country + US Territory, 100s of hours spent traveling from coast to coast by plane and car (& beyond), so many TikTok’s, thousands of emails, countless laughs with new friends. 2022 was the first year I felt like my business was actually real. Like I had truly made it. But honestly - I feel that way every year.
Each year has given me so much to look forward to. I continue to shock myself and keep myself on my toes. It is never a dull moment in my corner of the world.But in the midst of all of the chaos and adventure I found myself craving the slow moments. The calm. Mornings spent drinking my coffee outside with my chickens. Taking my dogs on long walks at the beach. Reading. Taking spontaneous weekend trips with my husband and my dogs. Visiting with friends and enjoying being in the moment.
I vowed to pull back a bit on the chaos to spend more time with the people closest to me. Giving all of myself to my business was no longer filling my glass as full as it once was when I noticed how much I was missing in my personal life. Clearly I suffer with FOMO.
But most of all: I miss actually creating art with people.
I did a poll a while ago asking “What made you want to follow me”, not thinking too much about it I included various reasons such as “editing style”, “posing style”, “my travels”, etc. Just to get a feel for what people looked for when they came to my social media. “Creativity” was not only the lowest vote, no one voted.
For a little bit of a back story: when I started my photography journey I was thrown in to the world of editorial photography. Fashion, creativity, posing, pushing limits. I thought I brought that with me when I migrated in to the wedding industry but I got way too caught up in the mainstream idea of what I thought everyone wanted I strayed too far away from what made my heart happy. This feeling has settled with me for a while now but knowing that everyone else saw it too was disheartening.
Truthfully - going from place to place constantly stuck between recovering and mentally prepping for the next big thing I didn’t have time to be in a creative mindset.
When it comes down to it, expending all of my energy wasn’t helping anyone.
Two very hard decisions I had to make was to pull back from working with some of you amazing humans (crying face emoji) to give more of my energy towards my closest relationships (teary eyed emoji) and pull back from over exerting myself + delegating jobs out to lovely individuals who can give me my time back. Which is hard as shit from someone who has done it all herself for that past 5 years.
Finding my sweet spot for travel + working was my accomplishment from last year.
I learned that I need time to appreciate things. Time I wasn’t giving myself because hustle culture made the think that if I wasn’t already jumping in to the next thing I was already too far behind. Now I want to give every single one of my 2023 couples my full love and attention.
Because I’m actually a really good time when I allow myself to enjoy the things that bring me joy.
So, cheers to 2023, doing more of what I love, doing less & letting things happen.
